We can consciously make decisions to control our emotions. We most certainly have power over what we speak.
“Why did You eat all my Doritos?!”, Melissa angrily shouted at Charlie, her husband who was blissfully relaxing in front of the television, until his wife barged into the lounge room and vehemently confronted him. She was seething with indignation, whilst he invalidated her feelings by laughing at her reaction to something he deemed was very trivial and juvenile. This was the tale that was relayed to me by one of my closest friends.
It was evident that Melissa was not pleased with Charlie eating all her Doritos, and I was concealing my disappointment with her volatile reaction to her husband’s faux pas. Despite not condoning her unladylike demeanour, I could empathise about why she overreacted. Charlie was oblivious to the severity of his wife’s PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) every menstrual cycle.
Melissa’s psychological symptoms, presented as dark moods that swung constantly like a pendulum in a grandfather clock. The only time that she seemed to be relaxed and acted calmly, was when she was munching on her favourite bag of Doritos or indulging her other love of chocolates.
I had observed her many times over the years when she was experiencing PMS and the marked change in her countenance. Melissa would excitedly unwrap the Mars Bar wrapper and enter a state of bliss, as she ravenously devoured her chocolate bar whilst her eyes were intermittently closed. One time when she finished consuming her chocolate bar, she declared with a grin of satisfaction on her face, “I need a dose of 50 grams every day,” as she zealously licked the remaining chocolate that had melted on the wrapper. Amused at her comment I thought to myself, “Mel is sounding like she is a druggie!”.
Chocolate and chips such as Melissa’s bag of Doritos, are some of the strongly preferred foods that women crave when they experience PMS. When it comes to chocolate it does not surprise me, that women globally crave this sweet confectionery. One of the naturally highest sources of the mineral, magnesium is present in cocoa which is the main ingredient to produce chocolate. Magnesium deficiency is common in women, in the lead up to their menses.
Magnesium is an essential mineral and is the fourth most abundant mineral in the human body. It assists individuals to relax, alleviates stress and anxiety while the hormones are fluctuating during this menstrual stage and release the stress hormone, cortisol.
Therefore PMS triggers a woman’s craving for sugary or salty foods, high in carbohydrates such as chips. Women and men are often surprised when I share this fact. Occasionally some men like to joke that they crave chocolate as well, so maybe they are experiencing PMS with their partner too.
What is PMS? PMS, premenstrual syndrome, is usually consisting of physical, or psychological symptoms but more often it is a combination of both. These symptoms, generally manifest in women seven to ten days before menstruation. There are varying symptoms associated with the syndrome. Sometimes women do not realise that feeling emotional, anxious, depressed, angry, or presentation of migraines, bloating and fatigue are symptoms of PMS.
I recommend that women observe and record their PMS symptoms regularly and if necessary seek treatment: preferably natural treatment, to address these symptoms before trying other methods that are more invasive. Women usually assume that it is normal to experience these symptoms leading up to their menses, not realising that it could be hiding a more serious underlying health issue.
The syndrome can affect others
The experience of PMS is a condition that is not only unpleasant for women. It can also affect other individuals that the women are in contact with, such as family, friends and even work colleagues.
You most likely have heard of women or personally experienced women, who used coarse language or conducted themselves poorly, because they were feeling angry.
Then in the aftermath of their seemingly unladylike behaviour state, ”It is not My fault! It was not me. It was the PMS!”. You may have said this yourself, if you are a woman who experiences PMS.
I acknowledge that experiencing it is a result of hormonal imbalances, with a wide presentation of psychological and physical symptoms. But I personally and strongly believe that it is not appropriate, for an individual to solely blame the display of anger and fury on PMS.
We, human beings, have the ability to think, discern and consciously make decisions about what is "right and wrong". PMS symptoms can exacerbate the emotions of stress, anger or just plain irritability. We can try our best to control our emotions. We most certainly have power over what we speak.
To clarify, experiencing PMS can fuel the feelings of anger and tension but individuals also need to be mindful of the damage that their words and actions can cause. Show accountability for your actions, rather than using that common phrase "It is not My fault! It was not me. It was the PMS!”.
A calmness is a choice
Choosing to make the decision to adopt a calm demeanour, is one simple approach to lessen stress for you and the people you interact with. It can also assist to manage some of the PMS symptoms more effectively, as a major part of healing comes from having a relaxed and peaceful mind.
An ancient writer named Solomon wrote these wise words, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue". Essentially this means that we can speak "life" into our relationships with our family and friends, especially our children and partner by choosing to speak respectfully and gently.
The other option that can consequently "kill" the relationships, is to continue using harsh, abrasive words and actions.
I wish you good health of body, mind and spirit.